Mind Your Manners

How many times have you heard a cell phone ringing obnoxiously loud in a restaurant? Or been grossed out by the gentleman seated at the next table who continually coughs into mid air without covering his mouth? Dining etiquette has become a thing of the past as more and more people forgo their manners and behave like barn animals at the dinner table. With these tips, tricks, and techniques you can be sure that the person spitting soup through their front teeth onto the white linen table cloth will not be you.

Table Manners:
The most basic rule in proper dining etiquette is not to talk with a mouth full of food. No one wants to be sprayed with bits of lettuce or watch as you chomp down on a piece of steak. Chew, swallow, take a sip of your drink, and then continue with what you are saying. Fellow dining companions are far more likely to be interested in conversation if they don't have to observe an autopsy in your mouth.

The dinner table is situated in a dining room for a reason, so keep you elbows off the table, feet under your seat, and cell phones on silent. This is not your living room, so don't treat the table like a couch.

You're Given a Napkin for a Reason:
Place your napkin on your lap as soon as you sit down. When you spill red wine on your blouse, use your napkin to dab your shirt dry. If salad dressing takes up residence on the corners of your mouth, wipe it off with your napkin. If you leave for a few moments during the meal, place your napkin on your chair. When you leave at the end of the meal, leave your napkin to the left of your dinner plate.

As important as it is to use one's napkin properly, it is equally as important not to make a toy or tissue out of it. Do not fold it into a pirate hat or blow your sniffles into the folded edges. Such things have no place at the dinner table.

Dress to Impress:
According to the 2004 Zagat Survey Guide, over two dozen restaurants in New York City still require gentlemen to wear jackets and ties. While that does not mean that you have to dine in a three piece suit, you should take careful consideration to your attire before stepping out. Each individual may have a different concept of appropriate dining garb, so it may be wise to call ahead and ask the host for the recommended outfit. For a formal setting, opt for traditional elegant dining attire. In a more causal restaurant, jeans and t-shirts may be just fine, but avoid baggy, ripped up dungarees and ratty tennis shoes. No matter how casual the setting, sloppiness is always in poor taste.

Waiters are People Too:
According to Roberto Manfe, the general manager at Cognac Brasserie, rudeness and poor tipping are the most common complaints by the wait staff in response to the customers. In regards to tipping, reward your server for a job well done by leaving a 15-25% tip, or illustrate your unhappiness with a 10% tip. When communicating with the wait staff, "do not snap to get the waiters attention or ignore the hostess when she visits your table," Manfe says. Rude behavior is never proper, so avoid it at all costs. If you have a serious issue with a server, ask to speak with the manager instead of getting nasty or short tempered. When in doubt, turn to the golden rule: treat others as you would like to be treated.

Red or White:
Wine menus can be a bit tricky for those who are less than well versed in bouquet selections and food pairings. To avoid paying a small fortune for a bottle of wine you will not enjoy, ask to speak to the restaurant's sommelier, who can guide you in the right wine pairing for your palate. Sommelier Patrick Cappiello says that the first step is to let your sommelier know your intended price range to narrow down your options. Next, be specific about your wine likes and dislikes so that the best possible pairing takes place. Lastly, be sure to inquire about labels that tickled your taste buds so that next time you know just what you want to order. An educated consumer is the best customer. And, just as with the wait staff, if your sommelier has done a good job, tell them through tipping.

Things You Should Know But May Have Forgotten:
Excuse yourself from the table to blow you nose, cough, or excessively sneeze. Wash your hands thoroughly after any said activity. No one wants a side of germs with their lamb shank.

Chivalry is not totally dead, so whenever a woman leaves the table or returns to sit, all men seated with her should stand up. On a date you have a much better chance of seeing a lady again is you demonstrate polite, chivalrous manners.

Do not pick up your fork or salt your potatoes until all parties seated at the table have been served. You sat down to eat as a group, so starting before all parties are ready to eat as a group would be poor form.

Dining as a family should be reserved for casual eating establishments and brunch. If you have dinner reservations for anytime past 7 p.m., hire a sitter or order in. Roberto Manfe says that "children who run through a restaurant screaming, acting out, and knocking things over not only irate the other patrons, but drive the wait staff crazy." For the benefit of all, either teach your children appropriate table manners and dining etiquette, or leave them at home.

Reservations exist for a reason. Just as with any other appointment, if you are going to be late or have to change the time of your reservation, call ahead. It is rude and unkind to have the restaurant waiting for you at your expected time if you know that that is not the time you will be showing up. Curiosity is like karma, it's always better to do the right thing because you never know when it may come back to you

— Written by Alexis Popov

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